A Weighty Issue…

Australia Burns Volume Two
Australia Burns Anthology
March 5, 2020
Stanwood Pride, Where Did It Go?
March 21, 2020

A Weighty Issue…

Going on a diet...Working out...Weight loss...
 
Do any any other words create more anxiety and pain in an overweight person??
 
I created a Biggest Loser group about a month ago. Everyone pays in $100 and has three months to lose 10% of their body weight. Simple right? Wrong...three months seemed like plenty of time to get 'er done and maybe it is, if you stay on track the whole time with no setbacks (or alcohol). I have women that are significantly overweight and others than barely need to lose that 10% and with the exception of one, everyone is struggling.
 
I was so rail thin growing up that I was almost inverted. In high school and thereafter, I LOVED to workout (yes I was one of those people). I gained muscle and the usual meat of a maturing woman. Even after the birth of my daughter I was able to get more fit than I was before pregnancy. It wasn't until my darling, blessed baby boy that all hell broke loose. I don't know if it was having two highly energetic kids, one of which slept all day and the other all night neither of which would do so unless I was with them, that was the issue. Maybe it was that my husband had to work long, physical hours, that required constant talk and when he got home he wanted quiet, a cool drink and happy playtime with the kids. Possibly, it could've been some of the hurtful or tragic experiences of my past that was the catalyst for stress and exhaustion to creep in.
 
Like many people I have been on every diet in the known universe and have gotten to the point of being sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I get angry at the diet programs and products that set people up to fail (buy our product only IT will save you!!) They prey on emotions and leave you feeling like a failure rather than their shotty product (and yes I mean ALL of them). I think many people go into these diets and programs with the highest of expectations, perhaps thinking these programs with their poster size success photos, will be their magic pill.
 
A week ago I was frustrated. It had been a couple of weeks without any weight loss (lots of cheating and drinking things that I wasn't doing in moderation). I decided that I could continue down that course of action and accept the fact that I will be heavy, like the generations of beautiful women in my family before me or I can try to figure out a way to succeed at overcoming what I perceive to be an enormous obstacle.This is a rather new decision I've made in my adult life and it happened because four significant things happened in quick succession
 
1) I heard a quote: "Ingesting synthetic food and destroying the perfect body and health God gave you is a slap in his face." Now I never thought of it like that before but wow what a powerful visual.
 
2) As a result of that quote I took a moment to think about the weight struggles of the women in my life, actually not just women but men too. Many aren't happy, they smile and joke and laugh but it doesn't quite reach their eyes. They struggle to keep up and be energetic. When I see someone that's clinically obese, what I see is pain in their eyes and pain in their movement. I look at what kind of role model I've been to my daughter and what kind I will be to her child and for awhile I thought it was too late. In her eyes she would always see an overweight women as her role model but I don't think that's true now. So basically as a result of that quote I became aware.
 
3) I had two doctor's appts. last week. One for a mammogram and one to a dermatologist for a skin check for melanoma. If those two appts don't leave you thinking about health, I don't know what else will! Time is so short (I've really learned that since my kids hit high school). Changes don't happen tomorrow, they happen right now (even if it's 11:30 at night). Knowing that my body can turn on me because of weight that turned into a health issue, seems so incredibly stupid and ridiculous but nonetheless could very easily happen.
 
4) My 17-year-old son said to me that he doesn't want me to just say I'm going to diet and work out, he wants me to do it. So, he, all 6'4", 150 pounds of him began to work out to gain weight and build muscle. He has a pretty strict regime because he wants to catch up and play basketball with his friends for his senior year and is pulling out all the stops to try and make it happen. He may be able to or he may not but he's creating the possiblity. Every day this week, as he went to the gym, he asked me if I worked out that day and I would have to tell him whether I did or didn't. Then yesterday he told me I looked like a slob and that I needed to start spending some time on my appearance again. When I asked him if I embarrassed him he said yes. Now, I know to some that sounds awful, really awful but to me, my beautiful little hellraiser just told me, as if he was screaming it from a mountain, that he loves me. That I am his role model and it's time to not only put up but shut up and give no more excuses.
 
In a different time, it would've crushed me but it was the exact thing to solidfy in my mind that I'm finally on the right path...FINALLY I get it. I think I'm just finding out that the spark (that magic pill), to light the fuse, to move your butt, is locked in your head.  And you may want to unlock it before your body finds a way to take that decision from you. It's like that witch from Oz said, all the power to change is in you. When I started losing weight over a year ago to today, I've lost 41 pounds, if I get to goal weight in this competition, I will still have another 44 to go after. My goal weight loss is 100# to put me in the mid range suggestion for my height. My BMI is an even greater horror story. For a long time those numbers just depressed and embarrassed me but the second I made the decision to forget about what time table other people had for me or going to the gym with my big old butt and letting it fly without worry over what they were all were thinking, was the exact second that I felt power.
 
So, as I lose weight I attach a stress, memory or name to it and not only let the pound go but the baggage that came with that pound. I may not lose all the weight I need to by the time our contest ends or I will succeed enough and get my money back but I've made a decision that either way I'm going to keep going until I reach my goal weight.
 
 
 

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